Saturday, June 28, 2008

Josh the Traveler


As I sit at my desk I hear a train whistle in the distance and as I always do when I hear a train, I think of Josh. On a recent message on my answering machine is Josh’s excited voice saying over the loudness of a train “it’s so cool Mom, it’s so beautiful and right now there are fire flies everywhere!!!” Josh is off on a quest of sorts. He has long wanted to simply pack up his camping gear and leave. He’s wanted to go across country, see the U.S. and see how others live. In a way Josh has been on a journey for 5 years now, trying to figure out his faith. He’s strayed, very far at times, and been mixed up in some extremely dangerous things. Yet he’s always come home, when I say come home, I mean he’s always come back to his roots, his upbringing.

I have spoken to numerous friends who’ve raised their children the same way Ken and I raised ours, in a loving Christian home, and yet their kids have strayed. We made sure our children knew the bible and celebrated with them when they accepted Christ into their hearts and watched them grow in their relationship with God and saw God using them to touch others. And yet, when Josh turned 18 he took a U-turn and decided to go in a different direction. He struggled and floundered and as parents it broke our hearts. I can honestly say that I am proud of the way we raised both of our children. Just as I cannot take the credit for good decisions my adult children make, I also cannot take the blame for bad decisions my adult children make. They are adults. The decision making is all theirs. Above all Ken and I deeply love both of our children, we deeply UNCONDTIONALLY love them.

Back to Josh, he met up with a group of people from the Auburn/Roseville area. The 6 of them decided to travel to the east coast, via hopping trains, you know, like hoboes. Most of these kids, including Josh, have no money. As a parent I was terrified, but again, Josh is 23 ½ and old enough to make these decisions, and live with the consequences of those decisions. I realized how brave it was for him to do this trip. I could never ever do anything like this.

On June 2, 2008 the day that Josh packed up to leave he was in his old room a very long time searching for something. I went in to see what he was looking for and he said he needed to find his bible. He said he had to take it with him. This was amazing to me.

Josh has been gone for 4 weeks now, every 3-5 days I will get a phone call from him. The phone calls are short, since he’s borrowing someone else’s phone, but they contain so much information. Here’s what I’ve learned so far. Josh has encouraged the group to find a church to go to every Sunday, in whatever town they happen to be in. The first Sunday there was an older couple that took all of them to breakfast, the second Sunday the pastor took all of them to lunch and wrote down all of their names so he could pray for them the third Sunday the pastor asked them to leave and said they didn’t want people like “them” in their church. As you can imagine Josh was greatly bothered by this but I reminded him that there are all kinds of churches out in the world, and to not be discouraged. I wonder though, how would most churches handle 6 smelling dirty young people who quietly came in and sat in the back row of the church? What would I do? What would you do?

Josh had a run-in of sorts with two large African Americans. They kept trying to talk to him and one of the others in the group, Josh and John kept walking and tried to ignore them but they kept trying to talk to them so Josh turned around and said “Hey what’s up man, can we help you?” and the guys simply wanted to know where they were from so Josh told them, Josh said they ended up buying he and John a beer and they had a great visit with them. In Idaho they were walking outside a Wal Mart one morning and the manager of the store started talking to them. He said they’d just had a big meeting and had tons of muffins and danish’s and coffee left over and told them to come in and get as much as they wanted. They got enough for all of them to eat breakfast and then found some homeless people to give the rest of the food to. In Montana they met a couple who let them camp on their property. They drove them to town and bought them water and some canned goods. At one point Josh made a sign that said “traveling through, would appreciate any supplies” someone bought them 5 gallons of water, others gave them food, they got a tarp and some other camping supplies. Someone gave them money, which Josh took and bought donuts for another group of homeless people that lived under a bridge.

Josh told us he’d been reading his bible regularly and has rested in Romans 4. He said he was greatly encouraged by this passage. He called us last night from North Dakota. He said it’s been so awesome, he’s had so many opportunities to “just love on people” he has loved talking to the homeless people and getting food for them and visiting with others. He said he simply loves helping people. Carrying an older woman’s groceries, helping someone fix their car on the side of the road, it’s just the way Josh is, its how he’s made. Right now Josh is on his way to Minneapolis. He has a couple of good friends, Levi and Noah, who work at a homeless shelter in the heart of the city. They work through Youth with a Mission and have made Minneapolis their home. Josh is planning on spending several weeks with them and then hooking up with the rest of the group sometime later.

Josh told us that whenever anyone is hurting or if they have a concern they come to him and ask him to pray for them. One of the girls traveling with them found out her friend was in a coma. The first thing she did was go to Josh and she asked him to pray with her. Josh told us that he’s been telling them that his pastor back home, Nate, has been praying for them and that he’d let Nate know about Jamie’s friend. Jamie’s friend is Zach and he is in a coma from a drug overdose. Please pray for Zach.

Also, please pray for Josh, he’s pretty sure he has a broken rib. He wouldn’t elaborate on how exactly it happened, but he says it hurts. He’s had a broken rib before so he does know what it feels like. He thanked me for making him take the giant bottle of Motrin I gave him.

All of these phone calls have simply amazed me. Josh is reading his bible and people are asking him to pray. He considers our church “his church” and our pastor “his pastor”. He is living by praying for food, sometimes they catch fish in a creek, sometimes people stop (like the couple in their 80’s who stopped in Washington) and take all of them to lunch. He has said for over a year that he was sickened by everyone around him needing “stuff” he said that wasn’t what he wanted to live for. I honestly don’t know where Josh is in his walk with God. But I do know he has a huge heart and I do know that when he says he “is loving on people”, that is what he’s doing. I know every time he’s called us he is so excited and has amazing stories. I know that God uses different people in different ways. I know that he’s often felt like a “round peg trying to fit in a square hole” in terms of how to serve God. I know that God can take care of him and God can reach his heart and touch his life and above all I KNOW God can use him.

Do me a favor, every time you hear a train, take a few moments and say a little prayer for Josh.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Bear Food


A few months ago Ken and I started a weekly hiking trip to the confluence of the American River. It’s beautiful to see God’s creation and just to spend time outdoors. Two weeks ago Ken and I were on such a hike. I was walking in the lead with Riley and as I came around a corner I saw a large dog, not on a leash. At least I thought it was a dog. I then realized it was not a dog but a bear cub. As I looked up the trail I saw momma bear, in the middle of the trail, staring me down. Ken, who by now was beside me, told me to stand still for a moment, he then said “walk slowly backwards, try not to make eye contact”. So we did that for about 10-15 feet. We then turned around slowly. By now I was quite scared, as we continued to walk Ken put his arm around me, not just in a lovingly way, but in more of a protecting way. I am not sure how to explain the difference. However, the fear I was feeling started to go away as I felt Ken’s total love and protection surrounding me. Well to say the least we made it out alive and later joked that we were almost bear food.

As Ken and I go through the struggles of him not working and looking for a job, I must admit I’ve been quite fearful. As I lift my concerns to God he reminds me that His arms are around us and He is protecting us. He cares so much for all our needs and concerns. Praise God for his protection!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Faith of a Poppy Seed

As many of you know Ken is still without a job. He currently doesn’t have any job prospects. All of his job leads have dissolved. Mix that with our son Josh who seems to be totally lost, concerns for other family members and friends and the current state of our economy and yeah, you could say I’ve got a lot on my mind. I wanted to preface my blog with this update.

My daily devotional time has found me reading the New Testament. A few weeks back I felt God prodding me to start reading the NT one chapter a day, starting at Matthew 1. As I read in the NIV I also use The Message as a study guide. Yesterday I read Matthew 17, which among other amazing comments and stories by Jesus has the verse about having the faith of a mustard seed. Sometimes God is so obvious with trying to get His point across to me that I have to laugh out loud. I had just spent several moments journaling to God about my all out fear regarding the concerns of this life. I then read Matthew 17:20 "The simple truth is that if you had a mere kernel of faith, a poppy seed, say, you would tell this mountain, 'Move!' and it would move. There is nothing you wouldn't be able to tackle." The Message. I’ve read this verse many times but as I struggle through the difficulties of this life it’s great to have the reminder. I never fully understood the mustard seed, because let’s face it, it’s not a common every day thing to have in a house. But oh the poppy seed (I love poppy seed muffins!) that I understand, the faith of a poppy seed, so small but so real. I closed my bible, turned on my computer to work and found an eCard from my dear friend Dawn that had the saying “It’s not the size of the Mountain but the strength of the Mountain Mover” with the verse “Behold I am the Lord…is anything too difficult for me?” Jeremiah 32:27. What really stood out to me were the images of mountains, over and over different mountains. OK God I get the point. My mountains seem huge, unmovable, unbeatable, you though, you are bigger than them. I must have faith, I must believe.

The final feather in the cap of God making his point came this morning. I read the parable of the Unmerciful Servant in Matthew 18. This story highlights the insurmountable gift that God has given us for forgiving our “debt” against him and us such we should also forgive others because what they’ve done to us no way compares to what we’ve done to God. As I was reviewing this over and over it clicked to me that Jesus was talking about our debt being erased and yet HE was the one that was GOING to erase our debt! Yet he hadn’t done it yet! Wow DEEP! So I contemplated Jesus words and his stories and I praised God that he had me journaling and studying Jesus’ life and stories. I then went to church this morning and Nate our pastor states that for the next 10 weeks we will be studying the stories that Jesus taught! Whoa, OK God I get it!

Today I praise God for His unending hope and comfort. I may be up and down in my faith; I may let worries and stress get the best of me. But God, the Mountain Mover, he is never failing. His love and comfort are all sustaining.

Monday, March 24, 2008

FOCUS

As most of you know, who read this blog, hey is anyone reading this blog? Anyhow as most of you know Ken was told on 3/14/08 that his job was about to end. His boss has given him a little bit of time to find another job before taking him completely off the books. Our prayer is that he will find a job closer to home. His 3 hour round trip commute was really starting to get to him.

God has taught me so many wonderful things during this time. I am truly learning, again, to rest and rely on my Savior, to have hope and to know no matter what that I am loved.

My focus recently has not been entirely on Ken’s job situation, or our financial situation. My focus has been on Josh. Josh needs direction. He isn’t sure what he wants to do with his life. It breaks a mom’s heart to see her son so lost. He is constantly on my mind and as such constantly in my prayers. As it turns out Josh has been on Ashley’s mind too. Last week she wrote a poem about Josh which is attached below. Sometimes I think we don’t understand how our actions affect those who love us most. If you are reading this blog, please pray for Ken and for a job quickly but more importantly please pray for Josh.

Dear Brother

DEAR BROTHER
Written By: Ashley Byers

What happened?
Grounded in a faith steadfast
Teasing, playing,
My personal bodyguard,
My boyfriend interviewer,
Love

What happened?
Your smile lost
Your excitement gone
The sparkle of life turned into a dread

Depressed;
The smile, a frown
A lower lip quiver

Where did you go?
Drained by drugs
Destroyed by lust
Your passion fizzled by untrue friends

I love you
I miss you
I need you back
Please

Rest assured in our love
Be at peace with our faith
Know that I'm here
Watching,
Caring,
Unwilling to see you
Beaten down by darkened rain

Monday, February 18, 2008

Starving....myself

Recently I made a commitment to spend daily time with God in prayer, bible reading, devotional reading and journaling. I am going into my third month of having a daily quiet time with Jesus. It’s a process of having a relationship. To truly have a relationship with someone you must spend time with them. One day last week I skipped this quiet time. I simply was selfish and said to myself “I don’t want to take the 20-30 minutes to pray, etc.” so I didn’t do it, not because I forgot or got busy but simply because I was being selfish. My day went on and I felt empty. The next morning while praying God revealed to me that my selfishness was hurting me. This time with God has become nourishment to me. It fills my soul and keeps me going and I was choosing to literally starve myself for a day. I hurt God by choosing not to spend alone and quiet time with Him but I also hurt myself.

I read in my bible story after story of great people who God used to do great things and the recurring theme is that these people chose to constantly seek God. By taking a few moments time in the morning to be alone with God it reminds me to seek Him in all aspects of my life.

I have so much to learn…..

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Fame Isn't Everything

Wow, another young star has taken his life. Once again it goes to show that fame and fortune are not enough. True happiness and true joy and true peace cannot be attained by anything this world has to offer. What is even sadder about that statement is that so many people live their lives striving for things that don’t matter.

I am so grateful for the amazing gifts I’ve been given. I live in an amazing city, state, and country. I have an amazing job. I have amazing friends. I have an amazing family and an amazing husband who means everything to me. I have a relationship with our Lord and Savior. I have God’s peace and love sustaining me. I am truly blessed.

I do however wonder what my life would be like if I strived for a closer relationship with God as much as people strive for the things of this world. My focus truly does need to change. I need to be God focused, not world focused.